There's possibly some Chassid out there reading this & pondering : "Oy Vey, why does this goy chick keep stealing our jokes? "

Jews do guilt , humour & a decent coat lining better than the rest.  Farshtaist?

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Barry wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.

So Barry first of all goes to a catholic priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."

Barry thinks: "What does a catholic priest know about sex?"

So he goes to a protestant minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. Barry queries the minister and receives the same reply. "Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath."

Not pleased with the replies, Barry then seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years’ tradition and knowledge.
In other words, he goes to a rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play."
Barry replies, "Thank goodness but rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"

The rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it.

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20 reasons why chocolate is better then Jewish sex

1.You can always get chocolate.
2.With chocolate, size doesn’t matter; it’s always good.
3.Chocolate satisfies, even when it has gone soft.
4.You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5.You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6.You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7.If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won’t mind.
8.Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9.The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate.
10.You can have chocolate on top of your desk without upsetting your work mates.
11.You can ask a stranger for chocolate without fear of getting into trouble.
12.You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13.With chocolate, there’s no need to fake it.
14.Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant.
15.You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16.Good chocolate is easy to find.
17.You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18.You are never to young or too old for chocolate.
19.When you have chocolate, it does not keep your neighbours awake.
20.“If you love me you’ll swallow” has real meaning with chocolate.

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Sadie, an elderly Jewish lady, is leaving the garment district to go home from work.

Suddenly a man who has been walking towards her stands in front of her, blocks her path, opens up his raincoat and flashes his wares in all their glory. Unruffled, Sadie takes a look and remarks, "This you call a lining?"

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